drag heaven

Damn.
There are some things which are just utterly beyond description, and I have to say that International Drag King Extravaganzas are one of those things.
I am so completely honored that I got to attend this event. I can’t really explain what it is like to see the song from The Full Monty performed by drag kings in flesh-colored body suits complete with fake chest hair, or to witness the sheer mass of 180 drag kings on stage all at once, dancing to their final bows music. But I can say this, certainly and forever: It is hella cool.
Last night, I went to a kind of amateur drag night, for amateur locals and conference-attenders who weren’t in the showcase tonight. It was so crowded I couldn’t see a damn thing, and I ended up leaving early feeling lonely and angry and tired. But tonight, everything was different. A bigger venue, a stage that you could actually see, and lots and lots of very happy people with a crowd vibe to die for. There were about 30 groups, ranging from one-person acts to full-on group performances. One guy, who has written and produced his own drag opera, sang with a sock puppet (choose your pronouns as you wish). The Tucson group kicked some major ass, as did a group from North Carolina that gave a super powerful performance focusing on oppression. The Chicago Kings, who hosted, had trampolines in their act, and silver tutus. There were Beastie Boys, Savage Garden, and the first drag act I’ve ever seen who actually sang instead of lipsynching. The finale of the first half was about twenty women from Seattle who danced frenetically to Pour Some Sugar on Me and poured glitter, honey (oh my god) and water all over themselves and the audience, then stripped down to pants and nipple tape and licked honey off of each other and basically just made out like crazy on stage. I will never ever forget the sight of all those women suggestively pulling honey bears out of their pants. Jesus.
This is maybe the most fun I have ever had at a single event. A few firsts for me: I had a drag king buy me a drink (I think because I complemented her act, not because I won her heart or anything) and the woman next to me told me I was really cute and hit on me. I was so totally excited by the range of people and genders and sexualities that were evident, with girls wearing ties and straight men moaning over the lesbians, and gay men and straight women just feeling really really confused.
Next year, the IDKE is in Winnepeg, Canada. Dear god, if you have the money, GO! It will be worth it.
The Chicago Kings website is www.chicagokings.com, and the conference website is www.idkechicago.com, if you want to see what was up. Go, all of you (all 3 of you or so), next year. In the name of all that is holy and queer and awesome.