Wednesday, November 30, 2005
everything that rises must converge
It looks like there is every possibility of this good quarter ending unpleasantly all around. After the two crapola things on Monday (the unfinished test and the almost-tearful you-suck final), I took a deep breath and thought about how I only have like two more things to do and then I'm done until I return in January. But yesterday, I got an email from the Civic manager saying that the conductor wants to see me before our next rehearsal tomorrow night. This almost certainly means he's going to tell me I need to up the ante, play better, get my ass in gear. (Anna points out, rightly I suppose, that it could be something totally different, but I've heard about things like this and I guess I'm just choosing to believe the worst.) I'm just so upset, because if this goes as I think it will it means that not only am I not doing so great, but I'm doing poorly enough to be singled out and chastised for my badness. Gah. Just when I thought things were looking up, this seems to be the week when everybody tells me otherwise.