Monday, December 15, 2008


I feel irritable, restless, and generally discontent. It's way too cold outside to want to leave my cozy apartment, but part of me apparently wants to be running through the streets tonight. This kind of undirected energy is always tiring but hard to shut down, and so I usually just try to sit it out. I don't have much of a choice, because when I feel like this I generally can't sit through a movie or even focus for long enough to read a book, and that is a death sentence for a night at home alone.
I wish I knew what caused this, because I'd like it to stop and it's been happening all too frequently. On nights like this, even though my life is going increasingly well and I'm generally happy and surrounded by people whose company I enjoy, I feel the opposite of positive. I feel grouchy and lonely and bitter. Bah humbug, I say! I didn't feel like this anywhere near as often before I lived by myself, and that's particularly frustrating: now that I have all the time in the world for doing exactly what I want to do, I can't seem to utilize it.
I'll post something more interesting and less me-oriented soon, I swear.

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