Yesterday I did one of the hardest things I've ever done: I broke up with somebody. With Shana. There were a number of reasons for it: massive communication issues that kept building up on themselves, some differences in needs that seemed fundamental and incompatible, a fair amount of sadness and anxiety as we approached the three-month mark. The final straw was an action (far too personal for an online forum) that made my trust falter and then crack in two, and I suddenly realized that I just couldn't continue. It was nobody's fault, really. Sometimes things just stop working.
I've never been the breaker-upper before. It is a terrible feeling, to make somebody else so sad and angry. I think it will be a while before I attempt to date again. But today, in the aftermath, I can breathe for the first time in four days and I know that I made the right decision, no matter how painful. I appreciate the time we had together, and I wish that we could have enjoyed each other's company for much longer, but we couldn't. I couldn't. So it goes.