Friday, January 23, 2009

the future and the past are equally tiring

A list of things I have done this week:
-Slept six hours or less pretty much every damn night
-Painted swirly abstract blobs on walls for 4-5 hours
-Cooked and/or eaten teriyaki fish, brussels sprouts, spicy rice, smoky pumpkin soup, soy chorizo-potato turnovers, fantastic tofu scramble, and goat cheese-olive empanadas (again)
-Baked and/or eaten two types of muffins (banana blueberry and apple ginger) and two types of cookies (orange shortbread with chocolate chips and butter cookies with apricots and thyme)
-Had a platonic cookie date (a highly recommended way to spend an evening) and a not-so-platonic first cooking experience with my new ladyfriend :)
-Rehearsed with three different musical groups
-Travelled to Evanston and Hyde Park
-Performed a piece for its somewhat famous composer and gotten a good response
-Taken a pet to the vet for the first time (he's fine!)
-Gone to the doctor myself (I'm also fine! They told me to sleep more. Thanks, doctors.)

And I'm freaking exhausted. I feel tired in a way that is new to me, where I actually feel like I could fall asleep right now if I laid down. I've gotten nauseous from lack of sleep before, or gone a little crazy, or just cried a lot, but this exhaustion feels bone-deep. I'm going to sleep in just slightly tomorrow to see if I can catch up enough to prevent myself from passing over into actual illness.
But tonight I'm seeing the CSO, tomorrow night I will be happily stuffing myself at Rose-Anne's late birthday dinner, and on Sunday I will rehearse Mahler 9 for 6 hours. Oy. My brains are already leaking out of my ears just thinking about it. In other words, this is the last time I expect to be relatively articulate for a few days (most likely until Tuesday) so I opted to make the most out of it by making a list for you instead of practicing Mahler. Wish me luck.

8 comments:

pulley-whipped said...

go to sleep! fuck mahler.

ammie said...

I wish I could! Sleep, that is ;)

Lauren said...

Good luck! please tell us about the new ladyfriend.

ammie said...

So things I can add to this list: Had a stress-related possible panic attack on stage and nearly passed out. Luckily I knew what was happening and put my head down and waited it out, but still, good times. Happily, I was able to sleep maybe seven hours last night and I feel a lot better this morning.
And my ladyfriend is named Shana, and I think she's pretty awesome :) She likes poetry! And the outdoors! I have a good feeling about things.

ShanaRose said...

You have a strong ability to notice the good things despite bone deep exhaustion, at least. So good job!! :*

erica said...

eek. be careful.
yay for cooking dates though ;)

ammie said...

I'm still alive so far... But today is my long Mahler day, so we'll see how that goes. I've been dreading this for weeks. Yay.
And yes, a real yay for cooking dates! Hopefully to be repeated sooner than later :)
and thanks for the support, everybody.

Rosiecat said...

Oh, please get some sleep, Ammie! I'm tired just thinking about you and your crazy-busy life.

You know, now I'm wondering if my man-friend, who has expressed his deep love for cookies, is going to be jealous of our platonic cooking date. The question is, will he be jealous of me for eating cookies without him? Or will he be jealous of you for eating cookies with me? Or will he just laugh at how my whole social life revolves around cooking these days? :-)

Take good care of yourself, my dear.