trepidation

Even though I haven't been writing about it, the election has been taking up a decent amount of space in my head recently. I've been a bit nervous about feeling confident; in 2004, there was no doubt in my mind that Bush could not possibly win again, and I was severely depressed and upset when he did. I feel similarly about McCain (and, god forbid, Sarah Palin), but instead of the confidence I felt four years ago I feel like I'm holding my breath. Waiting and hoping, because even though Obama is not my ideal candidate I think he's as close to that as anybody with a chance in hell of being elected can be right now.
I'm also nervous about the fact that there's a small chance that I might not be able to vote. I filled out a new voter registration form and mailed it off a few days before the deadline so that my new address would be noted, but I didn't get my form until last Thursday. I thought to myself, "Oh good, my voter registration card!" and didn't open it until Saturday, at which point I realized that they had gotten my name wrong. Amanda Brad, that's who they think I am. I can't seem to find any information about whether that will actually be an issue, but I have this horrible feeling that I'll show up tomorrow morning (at 6 AM, since I have to work at 10 and I'm worried about the wait) with my letter, my lease, a bill in my name for this address, and my Arizona driver's license and be denied. I know it almost certainly won't make a difference in the presidential count (the whole Obama-is-from-Chicago thing), but it would still be upsetting. This whole lead-up has made me feel like this election is actually a pretty significant thing to be witnessing, although I'm still slightly unsure if that feeling is at least partially a product of something exterior, like my age or media influence or something I am not even aware of. But still... I'm ready to vote. I feel oddly un-radical to be admitting that, but it's true. And even if the importance of this election has been somehow inflated by an outside force, I'm excited and heartened by the fact that for months I've been hearing people on the street discussing the candidates, the debates, the issues. I want, for a few minutes tomorrow, to be part of something that is important to so many people.