I've been having problems with my ears for the last few days, so today I had to play a quartet concert where I essentially could barely hear anybody else. Right after that (time was not on my side) I went to campus health and they flushed some truly giant pieces of wax out of my ears. Now the world is super loud, it's amazing! I wonder how my recital might have been effected by doing this earlier.
I found out today that the music and film class that I'm registered for is a seminar on Westerns, of all things, and is also a lot of work. I'm intrigued by the subject matter and I don't mind working necessarily, but I'm still deciding whether I should/can go through with it. I have at least two auditions coming up... But on of them will come only a day or two into the quarter. Hmm.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
the aftermath
My graduate recital is done, finally finally finally. I was starting to think that if I had to spend another day with those same pieces I was going to go crazy. It went really well, except my teacher forgot to come (presumably, anyway, since he has a terrible memory and wasn't there) and I feel kind of disappointed by that. But actually, a lot of friends and such came and it was really nice for me to realize that I actually do have people here who care that I exist (other than Anna, of course :-).
In other news, bell hooks is coming to my campus on Wednesday!!!!!!!! Holy shit, I'm so there. I'm shocked that I didn't hear about it until Saturday, that seems like such big news, doesn't it?
In other news, bell hooks is coming to my campus on Wednesday!!!!!!!! Holy shit, I'm so there. I'm shocked that I didn't hear about it until Saturday, that seems like such big news, doesn't it?
Thursday, February 23, 2006
"hello, my name is Ammie and I'm an internet addict"
I'm intrigued by this. For some reason it won't make it a link, but I'm sure you all are capable of copying and pasting.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=altogirl
http://kevan.org/johari?name=altogirl
the home stretch
Well, my recital is in about three days, on Saturday night. It seems useless to speculate at this point whether or not I will be sick; I'm sick now, at least a little bit, so presumably I'll still be sick then. Luckily it's toned itself down, and now I mostly just have a cough. Not ideal, but better than plugged ears and sniffling. I have a student who's a medical student, and she was quizzing me about my ailment on Tuesday. She informed me that it takes nine days (!) for your body to mount an effective defense on a disease. According to my calculations, I should recover just before my recital starts, then :-)
I'm looking forward so much to this being over. I feel like I've actually been dealing with the stress a lot better than I normally deal with stress, although I did get absurdly overly angry at somebody yesterday for stealing some stands I set up and I think that might be a little connected. Mostly, I'm just focusing on the spots that could still be better and that I think I still have the ability to make better in my music. I mean, there are things that just aren't going to be there, so I'm trying to figure out ways to make them not as badly wrong.
Non-recital news... The lake has been freezing over. I can see it from my practice room window, I keep an eye on it from day to day. I love it, it's like an ocean, all moody and such. Anyway, when it's starting to freeze it gets this skim of ice on the top, but waves keep coming along and breaking it up. The chunks of thin ice throw the sun back in my eyes, and these little sparkling waves just keep coming in and disturbing all the birds resting on the water. There have been a lot of geese lately, which I wonder about. I mean, I don't know much about migratory patterns, but don't geese fly south for the winter? And isn't winter well under way? I wonder if the geese I see are late or early, or if the pattern is just much more complex than I thought (the latter is probably the case).
I also saw what is perhaps my current favorite lesbian movie, tying or perhaps edging out "High Art". It's called "D.E.B.S.", and it's about these young women who have been chosen by a special test hidden within the SAT to become elite undercover spies. They wear these ridiculously short plaid skirts and little ties everywhere, and it's so campy and funny! Most lesbian movies are either terribly depressing or just plain terrible, so it was incredibly refreshing to see one with a sense of humor. I guess I can't really compare it to "High Art", it's just such a different movie. Anyway...
Okay, so that was a long post. Adios! I'll probably write again before the recital, in an effort to kill time and impatience.
I'm looking forward so much to this being over. I feel like I've actually been dealing with the stress a lot better than I normally deal with stress, although I did get absurdly overly angry at somebody yesterday for stealing some stands I set up and I think that might be a little connected. Mostly, I'm just focusing on the spots that could still be better and that I think I still have the ability to make better in my music. I mean, there are things that just aren't going to be there, so I'm trying to figure out ways to make them not as badly wrong.
Non-recital news... The lake has been freezing over. I can see it from my practice room window, I keep an eye on it from day to day. I love it, it's like an ocean, all moody and such. Anyway, when it's starting to freeze it gets this skim of ice on the top, but waves keep coming along and breaking it up. The chunks of thin ice throw the sun back in my eyes, and these little sparkling waves just keep coming in and disturbing all the birds resting on the water. There have been a lot of geese lately, which I wonder about. I mean, I don't know much about migratory patterns, but don't geese fly south for the winter? And isn't winter well under way? I wonder if the geese I see are late or early, or if the pattern is just much more complex than I thought (the latter is probably the case).
I also saw what is perhaps my current favorite lesbian movie, tying or perhaps edging out "High Art". It's called "D.E.B.S.", and it's about these young women who have been chosen by a special test hidden within the SAT to become elite undercover spies. They wear these ridiculously short plaid skirts and little ties everywhere, and it's so campy and funny! Most lesbian movies are either terribly depressing or just plain terrible, so it was incredibly refreshing to see one with a sense of humor. I guess I can't really compare it to "High Art", it's just such a different movie. Anyway...
Okay, so that was a long post. Adios! I'll probably write again before the recital, in an effort to kill time and impatience.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
and also...
I know I've been posting like three little mostly-self-serving posts a day, and I apologize. But, I'd love some input on this statement. I was writing the intro for my vegan cookbook, about how I feel about calling myself a vegan when I'm not.
"It’s not only like calling yourself vegetarian and eating chicken; it’s almost more like the women-identified “lesbians” in the second wave of feminism who called themselves lesbians but didn’t actually sleep with women. It’s the taking of a label for your own purposes, either for political or strictly personal ones, and it makes me uneasy. You can easily call yourself anything you like, it doesn’t have to mean anything, it’s just a word. When you use that word for some sort of gain, it loses it’s meaning and you potentially hurt the people who might really identify as what you’ve co-opted."
Gah, I hate language sometimes! It's so limiting. You have to take into account the historical moment in which straight-identified women called themselves lesbians (something I didn't know enough about when I wrote this), and the fact that the word "vegetarian", for example, means wildly different things to different people. Does it really hurt people who don't eat any meat if some people call themselves vegetarians, other than the annoyance of being asked if you eat chicken? I was intending to delete this and then forgot and glued it in, and I'm still debating whether or not to paste something over it.
"It’s not only like calling yourself vegetarian and eating chicken; it’s almost more like the women-identified “lesbians” in the second wave of feminism who called themselves lesbians but didn’t actually sleep with women. It’s the taking of a label for your own purposes, either for political or strictly personal ones, and it makes me uneasy. You can easily call yourself anything you like, it doesn’t have to mean anything, it’s just a word. When you use that word for some sort of gain, it loses it’s meaning and you potentially hurt the people who might really identify as what you’ve co-opted."
Gah, I hate language sometimes! It's so limiting. You have to take into account the historical moment in which straight-identified women called themselves lesbians (something I didn't know enough about when I wrote this), and the fact that the word "vegetarian", for example, means wildly different things to different people. Does it really hurt people who don't eat any meat if some people call themselves vegetarians, other than the annoyance of being asked if you eat chicken? I was intending to delete this and then forgot and glued it in, and I'm still debating whether or not to paste something over it.
no comment
The big news right now is that I'm sick; I feel somewhat okay for most of the day, but I feel pretty bad at night and in the morning. Mostly just a sore throat, but also just general malaise, I guess. No good so soon to my recital (1 week and 1 hour from now). The only three other bits of newsworthiness in my life right now: the library people wrote back and I will hopefully volunteer for them come summer, there's a feels-like temperature of about -9 outside right now, and I might be auditioning for the Buffalo Philharmonic in early April.
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