I have been feeling really creative and full of energy lately, which is a pleasant change from how I have felt for the majority of this year. I made a zine last week, my first ever, and it was amazingly fun. (If you'd like a copy, email me at myammie01@yahoo.com.) I've finally started really cooking again (hooray for that!), and today I sewed an extension onto the bottom of a skirt that was too short. I'm starting to want to play my viola again also, which is the biggest benefit of all. I want to enjoy what I do again, and I think I needed the space to rediscover that enjoyment.
So tonight I went to an awesome concert of student-composed electro-acoustic music, aka music with an electronic element and a live instrument element. It was so much fun! It was so out-there, and made me reconsider the roles of composers and performers in the process of music-making. For instance: the first piece was just a tape, no live musicians at all. Basically, everybody just sat and stared at an empty stage and listened to this tape, which consisted of snatches of songs (like a radio tuning in and out of stations), static, underlying harmonic drone, and phrases. It was so weird; I never considered the concept of a concert without a performer, or that a composition could be called a composition if it actually can't be performed, only played back. I was thinking about whether most people would consider it to be a piece of music, as legitimate as Beethoven's 9th in it's own way, and I don't think they would. Another piece was based around tones from the composer's handheld Simon videogame; someone stood onstage and played the game while the musicians played. All in all, very fun and interesting, as well as a little inspiring.

I just got back from Cajun Cooking Night with the paperchefs. Tons of fun, assuredly. I tried okra for the first time in probably at least a decade, and discovered I don't hate it completely anymore. I took and excellent picture of Erica with a large clump of celery sticking out of her mouth, which I will try to load later.

Sigh... I hate it when I feel depressed for no real concrete reason. I feel really down tonight, thinking about how little I actually do in any concrete sense and how little of an idea I have about any sort of realistic action I could be taking about anything. Mostly, I just feel tired; I don't do anything, and then I feel depressed that I don't do anything, and that makes me just want to sit at home and mope (ie, do even less). It's a vicious circle, and I just don't have the energy right now to break out of it.

Amaretto Sour

Ingredients:
1 shot amaretto
4 shots sweet and sour mix

Pour in a glass and drink

Well, it's semi-official; I'll be going to Northwestern, in Evanston, IL (basically Chicago) next year to study viola. It's the teacher I've always wanted to study with (Roland Vamos) and what seems to be my perfect program of study (with orchestral and chamber music emphasis), so I guess it's all good. Still, I'm more than a little bummed to be leaving Tucson, the southwest, my loved ones... I know life always has to move on, but it seems like you never leave until you desperately want to stay where you are.